SW Ms 2012's blog

I keep trying to write this post, but it seems that no matter how many times I write it, the things that I say don’t come out the way I intend them to.

Winning our Southwest titles have had incredible and unexpected consequences. Many people have talked with us and told us how much they feel that we have grown, and in a lot of ways we have. We have been reaching out and meeting people and learning from people and growing in all kinds of places and ways that we never would have if it was not for this title. That is part of what having a title is about though for those who win it. You almost have to expect the unexpected after you have won. That is what we kept being told as it got closer and closer to January, and then to March. Now that we are here, we understand what they meant.

We have had a strange journey leading up to our title year and plan on having a strange journey from now on as well. In that journey up to our title year we spent a couple of years off in the world of TNG and groups aimed at that age range. Yes, once in awhile we ventured out, and we would come right back. Before that, when we lived in NM, we spent a lot of time out and about in all the groups, doing new things, meeting new people. In AZ, we dedicated ourselves to one small corner of the world. We learned a lot from both.

What this means for us though, is that all of our speeches and comments about coming home, bridging the gap, and things like that, are not just for the community, it is for us. This year, in many ways, is a very selfish year, which was not originally our intent. We are doing what we are doing for us. When we go out to Leather events, when we go out and talk with people who have been in our community for years, it makes us feel at home. It bridges our own gaps inside ourselves, the ones that we created when we put all of our energy into one group and not into helping the community at large.

So that is what I have been trying to say. This year is for us, and for you. That is what we have learned and what may have made us grow the most in this past couple of months. It has given us a love that we had forgotten we had, and a purpose we may have never known about.

In the end, this may all seem a little melodramatic, but I have yet to find a better way of explaining what has happened inside of us up to this point. The purpose of this journal is a number of things, bringing more people to the Southwest Leather website and sharing with you our journey are only a couple. Up to this point we have done a lot of telling you about where we have been and what we have done, but not a lot about the journey itself. As we come along, I’m sure the words will come and it will be easier to explain, but so far the journey has a theme, bridging the gaps to make a home.

Southwest slave 2012
slave Marika

After pizza, we slept the sleep of the dead. I wasn’t sure if we were going to wake up in time to go to the brunch, but we did want to support our new International titleholders as well as hear the speech given by Boymeat. It was worth waking up at what felt like an ungodly hour to be down there. The story that seems to keep getting told by people from my table, I know it is because I keep hearing it get told. As Boymeat was saying, “The future of leather is right before you.” Everyone at our table pointed to us. Now, we didn’t know this at first, because we were not facing the rest of the table, so we turned to see several people pointing at us, and I know that I didn’t get it at first until I thought about it for a bit. It was actually quite funny.

The rest of the day was laid back. We finally sat and had a discussion with a couple of the people we had been trying to connect to all weekend. We also talked with several of our judges and many of our friends. We said a couple of hellos, but we mostly said goodbyes, for now.

On that note, I will leave you. There is another story, a story of the trips there and back, but really when we left the hotel, we left behind that other world, and so the weekend should not be judged by those parts of the trip, but instead by all the wonderful things that happened while we were there.

Southwest slave 2012
slave Marika

PS I promised a couple of people that I would provide a link in this last post to the Leatherati post with our speeches and presentation. In the presentation they did not record all the way through to the standing ovation, or even through the questions, but it is still a good recording.

Saturday started early with breakfast with our handlers and mentors. It was centering. We did also include another of the other contestant couples at our table for a little bit while we all ate. We all talked about the upcoming day and what we still needed to do in order to be ready for everything.

The interviews were interesting. Like any other contest, we did not get to see anyone else’s interviews, just the effects afterwards. There is a lot that you can learn about someone when they think they are not being watched. We observed kindnesses, lust and a whole lot more. To be clear, we weren’t just sitting there watching the other contestants. We had a good view of the whole lobby and many of the people in it, and like at any other time, people were interesting that day.

There was also a wonderful energy to the conference by that point we were fully immersed in our own energy and everyone was feeding into and feeding off of what happens when a community, a family, comes together to spend time with each other, learn from each other and more.

Our interview itself was not nearly as bad as we were expecting. We joked that we were ready to be made to cry, but the truth is that no matter how much we prepared and we prepared a whole lot, we were ready for someone to try to rip us apart. It never happened. Most of the questions that we were asked were things that we had talked about, except one. What makes us different from any other 50 year old couple that could be running.

Somehow that was not something that had ever been asked or talked about. We always just assumed that our age would be that difference. However, we forgot that sometimes we talk like people older than ourselves. Sir’s answer also made me think about how it is that we interact between the age groups. Our phones are a standard part of our lives these days. Being a slave who has sometimes worked a different schedule than her Sir, I have spent a lot of time being at events alone. If I am not picking up my phone because it is loud wherever I am, Sir knows that he can figure out where I am.

After the interviews was lunch. It was fun to spend time with our contestant wrangler and the other contestant pairs. It was a shame that we didn’t get to spend the time with our handler, but it was nice to just sit there and take a moment out of the spotlight to be with these people who were sharing in our experience, and we were sharing in theirs.

After lunch we did a quick costume change and ran back downstairs for the presentations. By quick costume change I mean we also did one more quick run through of the class and recentered ourselves as best as we could while fully changing outfits. As much as we really wish that we could have watched the other couple’s presentations, I don’t regret going last. If we had any nervous energy before we sat there and waited, as each couple came in and left, we calmed down more and more.

Maybe it was because of the loud claps that came after every class, but when we got to the end of the presentation, the end of the questions, we assumed at first that the standing ovation was normal, something that all of the other contestants were given. It wasn’t until we came out and other people were making a big deal out of the standing ovation that we realized how amazing it really was. No matter if we were special on not in getting it, we came out of the class beaming. This was a topic that is close to our hearts and has been a big part of our lives and we did a great job talking about it.

While in the schedule it may seem like we had quite a bit of downtime here, we didn’t. The next part of our day was changing, resting and back to rehearsals. The first set of rehearsals was getting us used to the mic, and the second set was getting the timing down on our class ceremony. I will not hesitate to say that I cried a little while practicing and a little more while performing the ceremony. All of the deep seated meaning in each moment of it, and honoring those who came before us, and really being a part of it, hit my home button in a way I would not have thought it would.

Rehearsal turned into a little bit of time to change, and then the real thing, and wrapping up the last of the contest events was off. Out of everything, this is really the part I have the hardest time remembering. It seems everytime we go on stage my memory banks stop recording. For the speeches, we could not have done much better. Sir was like a different person between who he was at Southwest and who he was at Southplains. I should probably not write about my own speech. We are never harsher than when we critique ourselves. In the end, I got to say something that really meant something to me though, so I am happy with it.

As I said, the memory banks stop recording it seems when I get on stage, so I don’t remember the pop questions all that well. I know that we didn’t do badly at them. It did feel though that all of the pop questions at this contest were at least a little serious, which I don’t think any of the contestants were as prepared for. You always prepare that there will be a couple of serious ones, but not the whole batch.

Then came the hardest part of the whole evening, no scratch that, weekend. The announcement of who won was drawn out sooooooooo long. They counted and recounted the points. We sat back there trying not to nervously laugh at the terrible jokes that were being made as we sat in our assigned chairs waiting to hear an answer.

After we did not win, we still got so many people come up to us and talk to us it was amazing. Better than all that though, we had a dinner plan set in place by our handlers already. Did you miss that I hadn’t said that we had eaten dinner yet? We hadn’t. The truth is that most of the couples had not, and if we had known that we may have made some kind of a suggestions for them, but we had pizza that night because we knew that the time between rehearsal and the real thing was going to be taken with practicing speeches again, and getting dressed and we had a surprise, I was gifted slave bells. Something that was truly an honor.

Here is what everyone keeps asking about. Before I begin though, I want to let people know that at some point, Sir and I determined that Leather conferences exist in another realm. There is our day to day life, in which we get down and dirty and live with what a day to day life means. We have our relationship, and we build on that, we go to meetings and socials and coffees and munches, play parties, and you do what you need to do. However, when a conference comes around, for whatever reason, maybe because it is something out of the ordinary, it seems that as we get prepared for it, even if we are just attendees and not contestants, presenters, etc. when we walk through those doors into the hotel or bar or other location that it is in, we exist in another realm. And when we leave again to go back home, return to our daily lives, we have to leave that realm. As good as it is, there is a chance, that when you leave that realm, you will leave parts behind, things that you wanted to tell others, or maybe secrets that you will keep. SPLF was no different in that it, for us, existed in that other realm, and coming back now, we can only write about it and hope to convey some of what happened there for us.

Another thing you may want to know at this point, I like to write a lot. In fact, I do write a lot. Sir stopped making me write daily journal entries for him because I was spending two to three hours a day on them. Sometimes, like now, that will easily be the amount of time I will take to write an article.

South Plains went GREAT! We loved every second of our weekend. Sir would like it noted here that we loved our time in Dallas and at SPLF, but to be honest, the trips in and out were something special all of their own, and not in a good way. It sounds cheesy and maybe it is, but we really do agree with everyone who said that all of the contestants are winners. At the very least, at the end of it, we felt like winners.

I will try to write in depth about this instead of glossing over parts because I know a lot of people really want to know how every part of the weekend went for us. I know, because I keep being asked. I do run the chance of glossing over the parts you want to hear about though, so feel free to drop me a line if you want to know more, or just want to contact us.

Some of you may know, finding a leather vest that fit over my girls, was a little difficult. We ended up talking with Leather Masters and were promised that they would have a vest ready for me when we got there for the weekend. This meant a few really special things for us. For one thing, we got to meet the person who made the patches. That was cool. Even cooler, he put the patches on the vests for us.

And of course we got to actually visit the Leather Master's store, which was a lot of fun. I guess I find now that I am kind of hoping to get to do more shopping in some of our more prominent Leather stores as we travel about. I get a blast out of going into the different ones and meeting people, seeing how they have laid out. Like anything else, there is a different energy in a storefront than there is at a convention.

Before I go on, I should let everyone know, we had a really great person from the Dallas community help us out with driving us too and fro; from the airport, to the hotel, to Leather Masters, etc. He was even really great about waiting for us while our plane came in late and we had to deal with talking with our airline after we found out they ripped a hole in the bag. I mean, they had to rip through canvas and break metal and plastic bits in order to break the suitcase the way that they did. However, you can never underestimate the gorilla skills of airlines sometimes.

With our vests now on, and it being Thursday afternoon, we figured that we had a little bit of time to rest and relax before the festivities began, so we went down to the lobby and spent our time talking with the people who were already there. The more we talked, the more it built that really this weekend was underway and here we were. There was also something already different about us. There was no real nervousness as we talked to people. We had decided when we won the Southwest titles that our goal for Southplains was to have fun and represent well. Constantly on that first day for us, there was this feeling like we should be nervous, but with our goal in mind, the nerves never really seemed to kick on.

The meet and greet was fun. A lot of speaking with people we had already seen in the lobby, but with some new faces and a good chance to start getting into the swing of things.

Friday started us off to a good start with meetings and rehearsals and in between trying to catch our judges for a little one on one time to chat. When we weren’t doing that we were catching up with old friends and making new ones. One of my favorite things, always, about going to conferences is sitting down and talking to people that I don’t know yet and learning something, teaching something.

The plains cruise was a lot of fun. Neither of us being people who drink a lot, we haven’t been people who go to bars a lot. This means that neither of us have a lot of experience with cruising. The closest that we had was actually the weekend before, when the contest at Leather in the Desert was over there was time to cruise. We will be honest, we didn’t do a lot of that. We wanted to get home to the girl waiting for us at home.

However, cruising was not the only thing that happened at the cruise. If you were not there, you missed a HOT drag performance. The number of people who gave money was not surprising with the amazing performers that we had. I don’t think there was a single person that night who did not want to get close to the performers.

We also spent some times with the bootblacks that night. For being someone who still does not have amazing skills at bootblacking, but has only been taught the basics at some point, I seem to be constantly surrounded by people who truly love bootblacking. Maybe it is because of that, whenever I am at a Leather event of any kind, if there is a bootblack station, Sir and I always end up spending at least part of our time in the bootblack area. Or maybe Sir has some other hidden agenda that he hasn’t told me about yet.

That night did start the contest. We had debated a lot what we were going to say when we stood on that stage that night, but we knew the message that we wanted to get across. We didn’t know the effect it would have on anyone, but I think really I didn’t know the effect it would have on me to stand there and announce just how young we are. If we were not dedicated to bridging the generational gap before that, we were after that. It was freeing to stand there and make that announcement and to talk about how important it is to us that we find ways to learn from each other.

I want to add in here that I am ever so glad that Sir decided to pick the number. We were the last ones to pick our number, so we only had the one number to pick. 5. Sir probably picked the number not just because he had fun with it, which I know he did, but he knows that with my sense of humor and being up there on stage in front of everyone I would have announced that we got number 11 (again) or 42, or 69, or something else before really announcing our number. No idea if that would have been cool, but all part of having fun with the weekend.

I know that everyone is dying to know how SPLF went. We will tell you, but not in this post. Before I do anything else I want to talk first about Leather in the Desert.

I didn't get to do any writing about this after it happened because it went Leather in the Desert, one last big push to practice and prepare for SPLF and then we were off. That being said, I really enjoyed myself at Leather in the Desert. I got to see some people who I had not seen in a couple of years, meet some new friends, and hang out with some friends here in town.

Now, if you did not get a chance to go to Leather in the Desert, you really missed out on some GREAT fantasies and fashion. Someone has got to have some pictures of Master Onyx in that leather codpiece and I want copies!

I want to speak to the people who ran for the titles. Thank you for stepping up. I know that you probably heard that a lot during the weekend and since then, but we say it because we mean it. Running for our title really gave me a new appreciation for the people who run for other titles. Those who thanked us, for the most part seemed to be people who had run once, or who had/were considering running and realized what running for a title really means. It is a lot of hard work, and you don't always know that there will be a pay off in the end for what you put into it. That is why so many of us thank you, because we know what you put in and we appreciate it.

I'm not sure I have a lot to say about the weekend itself. We had a lot of fun with the whole thing. Each of the contestants were fun to hang out with and the it was nice to spend time with them. The 2012 title holders are a blast and I am sure that each of them will go on to do great at their individual contests. I personally had a blast starting little dance parties here and there through the weekend.

Southwest slave 2012

slave Marika

Currently here is our title schedule at the moment. We expect that it will get more full very soon as more plans are worked out to completion.

2/26/2012 - MAsT Phoenix - Presenting
3/1-3/4 - Leather in the Desert - Representing our Title and supporting our fellow title holders
3/8-3/11 - SPLF - Running for International M/s title
5/19-5/20 - NWLC - Representing SW Title and supporting our fellow title holders
11/10-11/11 - Houston Community - Presenting Saturday, MAsT Sunday

I know that it is Wednesday now as I write this, almost a whole half week later. We would like to put up a note saying that we had a blast at Desert Dominion on Saturday, January 28th. We were up there to be on a Master/slave panel. Everyone got a chance to talk about who they are and how their relationship works. It was great to hear all the different experiences and how everyone came to their relationships and explored who it is that they are. It was a really beautiful experience as some of the topics that were brought up were not brought up by question, but were brought up by the audience sharing with us their experiences as well. If felt like everyone got a chance to participate.

We would like to thank Cherielle, who did a wonderful job putting together the panel and running it so that it felt very friendly. She also was the person who invited us to go speak there, so a double thank you should be in order. And a big thank you to everyone who did show up. I know that some people had to drive a ways to get out there, and others not so much, so it was nice to see as many people as we did. We also got to meet up with some people whom we haven’t seen in a long time and make some new friends, both of which was very nice.

SW slave 2012

slave Marika

With the SWLC weekend now over, we keep reflecting on what happened and how we ended up here. For the most part, we are still a little bit in shock over the weekend. While the following words may have come from my hands, they come from both of our hearts and our experiences, and that may be the case for the rest of this blog.

The weekend still feels like a blur. We are both glad that there were two of us there because the parts that one person can’t remember it seems the other person can. Stepping up and competing, while nerve racking, left us both feeling at the end of Friday night, like we had come home again. Whether we won or lost, and there was a portion of Friday night where we were sure that we had lost, we knew that we had needed this weekend, because we were coming home.

Some people who have been going to the conference for a few years now may remember the year that they changed hotels to the location they are at now. Some of the people who were there may still be able to remember a 19 year old spending the entire weekend in the lobby talking with everyone. I specify a 19 year old because that was fairly strange and not really in the rules, but it was because she was visiting friends who were staying in the hotel. As it turns out a lot of people remembered hearing about it and not a lot of people remembered that it was me. Which brought this weekend to a paradox for us. It was our first full SWLC that we could attend and we were getting a far different experience than we would have otherwise. However, it was also not our first. Both Sir and I were in that lobby that weekend two years ago, and spending time with everyone, talking to everyone, being part of people’s experience this year, it was coming home.

In my personal journal I have pages documenting nearly every minute I can remember, but I will spare you that for now. I will save it for another day. I would love to be able to share with you transformation that happened over that weekend, but the truth is that the transformation seems to be something that is so big and so powerful within both Sir and I that the one weekend is not enough for either of us to begin to explain what has happened. It started before we ever arrived for the weekend, and is taking us on a crazy journey for the rest of this year. In order to get to where we did to compete we had to heal, and we had to grow in our relationship with each other. We had experiences that let us be able to support each other in all things that we do separate and together. This weekend for us was a culmination of all those moments in our relationship and a thrust into a new ride, a new growth and a new experience. So, instead of starting this journal off with what we learned from SWLC we would like to start it off on a new page, a new slate and show you through the year where it is we go and what it is that this journey means for us and for our communities.

SW slave 2012

slave Marika